A Note of Thanks

Usually when my reminder goes off every Monday to write a thank you note, I think back over the past week and identify a person who did something amazing, or something small that made a difference. If it's been a low-key week, I'll skim through my contact list to find a friend or colleague who I haven't reached out to in awhile. But recently, my inspiration has come from the notecards themselves. I stumbled on Barnes & Noble's get-everything-out-before-Christmas-inventory-arrives sale, which meant they had so many of their note cards at ridiculously low prices. I picked up this box of 100 postcards featuring different pattern artists thinking it would provide me an extensive stock of cards to choose from. Once I got it home and out of the wrapping I noticed how wonderfully different each card was. From mellow tones of abstract patterns to vibrant and sharp geometric shapes, I immediately started thinking of different people who would enjoy the card as much...

Photo by  Jonathan Simcoe  on  Unsplash I started a new job a few weeks ago. As with any reinvention, there is a lot of new. New environment. New people. New expectations. This is when I have to shush my introverted tendencies and put on my extroverted hat. As part of my training, I had one-on-one meetings with many of the people I'd be working closely with. It was an opportunity to learn more about what their jobs and daily tasks entail. But more than that, I wanted the opportunity to get to know the people I'd be working with and to ask them interesting questions . Getting to know my co-workers on a personal level is one of the best parts of starting a new job. Understanding personalities and learning where their passions are. I was surprised when many of them didn't really have an answer to "what excites you?" or figured I was talking about the job they do. Makes me think we don't ask that enough of each other. There was one conversation, though,...

Conversation by Valery Kenski found on Flickr CC BY  When meeting someone for the first time, it's easy to fall back on the standard small talk questions: What do you do? Where are you from? What are your hobbies? While that is good information to know, when you ask more interesting questions, the conversation becomes more authentic. When you ask interesting questions, you typically get interesting answers. When you get interesting answers, you don't have to force the small talk. The conversation flows more easily and is more memorable for both of you, making your follow-up notes easier to write. Here are a few of my favorite questions when I'm meeting someone for the first time. What excites you? It doesn't matter what they say. Self-driving cars. Sustainable living. Balloon animals. Whatever it is, it shows me that there is something out there that lights them up. Something that sparks curiosity. When you find their spark, you have a conversation topic tha...

Photo courtesy of Peter Hershey on Unsplash CC 0 Next time you tie your shoes, slow down and really watch your fingers move. See how complex the movements are just to get your shoes to stay on your feet. And you do that without even thinking. How many times a day do you disparage yourself? Feel like you aren't good enough. Like you should have done better. Known better. Do you do it so often you don't even realize you are doing it? And yet, you do so many things each day that makes other people's lives better and makes the world better. You tip the waiter. You serve your clients with empathy. You smile and hold the door for someone. These things may seem small to you, but they can make the difference in someone's day. How many times each year do you surprise yourself by doing something you didn't think you were capable of? Running that extra mile? Successfully completing that difficult project? Starting that side business that's been bouncing ...

My son is 15 years old. It's a strange age. He is starting to look like an adult. The discussions we have are like talking with an adult, albeit with slightly less life experience. I trust him to cook for himself on occasion and not burn the house down. And yet, at 15, there are so many concerns that seem to hit teenagers harder than most adults. Am I smart enough? Do I look good enough? Am I funny enough? Do people like me? Most people need reminders of the things they do well. It's hard to see when it's something that is part of you and you do it every day. This is even more true for the students in your life. They are wrestling with worries about their future as well as their present. Finals. College entrance exams. Scholarship essays. Scholarship rejection letters. Instagram vacation pictures. Snapchat snide comments. Athletic personal records that surpass theirs. So many ways to feel like they are not enough. And yet, they are still studying. Still trying. Still ac...

Treasure Map, Ahoy! by Ted Major on Flickr CC BY SA The comfort zone is rarely comfortable. Especially if you know there is more out there. Sure, in the comfort zone you know what to expect. There are few surprises. But it's more familiar. Easy. Default. Not really comfortable. I've been planning for the past 18 years to leave Columbia, MO. It's a nice place to live, sure. But it's familiar. Very few surprises. I know there is more out there. But each time I start to think that maybe this is the time, something happens that I let derail me. I take comfort in the default. In few surprises. What I let derail me were excuses. Yes, it would have been harder to move somewhere else when my son was a baby. Yes, I might not have gotten a good job right away. Or I might have gotten a better one. I talked myself out of the unfamiliar and stayed with what was safe. A few months ago, I was traveling with a co-worker to visit schools in Texas. "I love it here," ...

She's a perfectionist. She wants to know how all the pieces fit together before she gets started on the puzzle. She is also a little introverted, not wanting to cause issues and definitely not interested in presenting in front of groups -- clients or peers. For some, she can be a little frustrating -- the person who asks the detailed questions before the process has been fully hashed out. For some, she seems like an anchor, not interested in changing her well-defined method. But as it turns out, she just needs a little time and a better understanding of the reason why. I first recognized there was more to Deb when she asked me to show her around LinkedIn and help her get a profile started. She had several clients reach out to connect with her on the networking platform, so she saw the benefit. She just needed a little help understanding how it all worked. I explained the overall platform, showed her a few profiles I thought were well done and went through the privacy settings ...

Gifts by Polly Goncalves on Flicker CC BY NC In another installment of things I didn't actually know existed, February 17 was Random Acts of Kindness day. A day devoted to small tokens of appreciation to people you know, barely know or who are complete strangers. I like to think of thank you notes often as random acts of kindness. People don't often realize the impact their positive attitude, willingness to help or simple gestures have on the people around them, so a hand-written thank you note many times appear random. While I honestly believe most people enjoy the unexpected surprise of a hand-written note, sometimes I feel like a small gift included with those notes makes the surprise even better. I've gotten in the habit of including a little something extra when I can, especially for those notes that are hand delivered. Here are a few of my favorites: Chocolate: High-quality, individually wrapped candies such as Ghirardelli or Godiva are pretty easy to come b...

Day 148: The End of the Line by Bruce Guenter on Flickr CC BY Have you ever found an amazing TED talk that just blows your mind, but when you start sharing it, you realize everyone has already seen it? That's how I feel after learning about InCoWriMo. I've known about NaNoWriMo for awhile, thanks to a bumper sticker I saw a few years ago and was so perplexed by the acronym that I had to look it up. But as a hand-written note fan, I'm a little disappointed that InCoWriMo is celebrating their fifth anniversary and I'm just now hearing about it. What is InCoWriMo? International Correspondence Writing Month is dedicated to writing letters by hand. One letter a day for the 28 days of February. Their website , tagged vintage social media, provides more information. The goal is to write something that will be delivered to someone else. A letter. A note. A postcard. It doesn't even have to be mailed. With a nod to More Love Letters , it can be as simple as...

Small by Jh.44 CC BY on Flickr In proof once again that pronoia is a thing, I stumbled upon  Adam Rifkin's amazing post on the meaning of happiness. It's long, but awesome. You should read it. His list of five-minute favors really spoke to me. In this time of societal upheaval and uncertainty, my initial instinct is to put my head in the sand and wait for someone else to fix it. But I know that won't work. Even so, I've never been an outspoken person. I stopped wanting to do anything with politics after I lost the election for Class Secretary in 6th grade. I've never been to a protest or called my senator. While it never even crossed my mind to jump on a plane to join the Women's Marches in DC and other places, I watched with mad respect for all the people there sharing their voices. But that's not me. I have to remember that it's okay to start small. There are people around me who need an act of kindness, and those small acts help others feel...

Bubble by zacktionman on Flickr CC BY NC Empathy is a strange thing. It's difficult to truly put yourself into someone else's situation until you really know that person. Until that situation has a face. A voice. A smile. It's one thing to see the ASPCA ads with the Sarah McLauchlin song in the background. It's completely different to fall in love at first wag with a pound puppy. In my bubble of Midwestern, white, fully employed, fully insured optimism, it's not always easy to do more than sympathize with the struggles of so many. Fears of medical bills that make care unattainable. Fears that ignorant comments about skin color, religion or sexual preference become acceptable and not called out for their blindness. Fears that my family will be torn apart simply because the country they were born in is on a list. This is when I rely on the people I actively add to my life through social media and through real life connections. I need to hear the stories of pe...

There are situations in life where no normal sympathy card makes sense. There are relationships that don't fit into the love or friend category. Times when Just for Fun cards that don't have a swear word do not come close to describing what is about to go down. When you are looking for those kinds of cards, go to Emily McDowell    ( http://emilymcdowell.com/collections/greeting-cards ). She's got you.  A personal favorite: I'm a grown-ass lady and I do what I want.  You just thought of someone who would appreciate that, didn't you? Cards are a reasonable $4.50, and if you buy six or more single cards, you get 25% off your card order. Hat tip to two blogs that made sure I checked out this site: The Bloggess and Susannah Conway .

Time by Stefanos Papachristou on Flickr CC BY NC I used to work at a bank where birthday and work anniversary notes from executives were part of the company culture. Even with about 350 people on staff, the executives made a point to know everyone who worked there. During my seven years at the company, I did informational interviews like mad. At least once a month, I picked up the tab for lunch to learn from someone I admired. Pretty much every executive at that organization made time for me at least once. I'm sure they weren't in it for the free lunch. These informational interviews provided me insight into everything from identifying skill sets to working to get myself into the right place at the right time. I've done a few interviews periodically since leaving that company with other people but short of an occasional LinkedIn update, I had lost touch with those executives. During the holiday rush, I ran into one of them at Target. That casual "hello" i...

Life Preserver by Petteri Sulonenen Flickr CC BY There are some people who will help everyone. With anything. Your garbage disposal went out? He buys them in bulk for his rental properties and can get you one cheaper than you can buy one. Need someone to fill in with a presentation for someone who dropped out? He says he can put something together quickly, no problem.  Everyone likes having givers around. They are typically kind people, looking out for others. They are the first to lend a hand or an ear when a co-worker has an issue. While givers tend to be positive people, it can also be easy for givers to absorb other emotions from people who aren't so positive.  It's been a busy couple months around the office. In the fall, we talk with every one of our partner schools. We have about two weeks of downtime while schools are on holiday break while we do follow-up from the partnership reviews, and then we start right back into January term starts. ...

Silence by Giulia van Pelt CC BY NC ND There is a theory that once you notice or become interested in something, you start seeing it everywhere. The idea pops up in articles you read, conversations you overhear, products you see. What would have otherwise seemed random becomes a pattern, something more than coincidence. It seems like the universe is telling you to follow this white rabbit. I listen to a number of podcasts. Most of them are business and finance-related so there are the inevitable common themes -- saving, earning more, giving. Often, the same author will appear on several podcasts within a few weeks if they have a new book coming out. On occasion, though, a theme will appear that seems unexpected. Recently I had two podcasts cover silence. These two episodes showed up back-to-back creating that flashing sign saying, "This is for you." Both podcasts covered how difficult it is to find silence in our daily lives. They both encouraged actively making time...